You’re still the one.

🎵Looks like we made it
Look how far we’ve come, my baby
We mighta took the long way
We knew we’d get there someday

They said, “I bet they’ll never make it.”
But just look at us holding on
We’re still together, still going strong

(you’re still the one)
You’re still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You’re still the one I want for life
(you’re still the one)
You’re still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You’re still the one I kiss good night

Ain’t nothing better
We beat the odds together
I’m glad we didn’t listen
Look at what we would be missing

They said, “I bet they’ll never make it.”
But just look at us holding on
We’re still together still going strong

(you’re still the one)
You’re still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You’re still the one I want for life
(you’re still the one)
You’re still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You’re still the one I kiss good night

You’re still the one

(you’re still the one)
You’re still the one I run to
The one that I belong to
You’re still the one I want for life
(you’re still the one)
You’re still the one that I love
The only one I dream of
You’re still the one I kiss good night

I’m so glad we made it
Look how far we’ve come, my baby🎵


I love you. 🙂 ❤

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Sign.

Do you believe in signs? ‘Cause I do.

I asked for a sign months ago. I knew that time will come, that sign will happen. But I didn’t expect it to become too soon. I was honestly proud because knowing you, it was impossible to happen. But no. I was so wrong.

I asked for the sign. If you’ll change that anime that you like (that we both like), well it actually means that I shouldn’t stop. But hell no. I was so so wrong. You changed. Into something, I really don’t know.

What the fck. Did I ever say that I do believe in signs?

Cause if I really do, I dunno what I am doing right now. I asked for the sign. A sign that will tell me to stop this. But no. I can’t. Even tho I locked myself through that sign, I still can’t. I can’t let you go. I can’t let go of this feelings. I won’t make that stupid sign to stop me.

But on the other side, I have no news from you. The last time we talked was so months ago. And I dunno. Maybe, that sign was a yes?

Should I stop?

Should I believe at that sign?

Will I ever be your Kurisu again, Okabe?

I miss…….

To be honest, I really wanted to express my feelings through this for a long time now. But because of some matters, I wasn’t able to. I dunno. It’s just that, I am not what I am before.

I miss my other self. The one who just loved to write and express. Not worrying anything, instead release all the stress through writing. Unlike now that I prefer to keep it into myself, until I have no more space for it and burst out. It is bad I know. But that’s what I am right now. And I really don’t like it.

I miss myself being free at home. I hated it when my grandma was comparing me into other people. Like, hello. We were not the same. She was full of doubts in me. And I think that, she has no trust in me. She didn’t know me. I wasn’t like that. I wasn’t like any other girls who will torture themselves. They knew all my friends because I want them to trust in me. She is so realistic that I almost died thinking about all the worries she had. I knew I can take care of myself. I knew what’s the best for me for them not to worry. But it seems like, they didn’t understand. They just go on, scolding me about something I wasn’t about to do.

I miss my healing time. Going out with friends, having fun, having peace. I badly need my healing time. I really need it.

I miss being cared about.

I miss my old self.

I miss writing.

I miss being with someone I can lean on.

I miss being the reason why someone laugh or smile.

And I really miss myself….

T Square

I never thought that my day would be like this. Knowing that I’ll have a super busy schedule feels like hell.

Until you came….

You made a funny joke. You pointed me your TSQUARE saying that “Holdap to”. I am seriously nervous. The girl beside me looked. But when I looked at you, my heart didn’t stop beating. It’s you. Why? Destiny is really a great plot twister. We met in an unexpected time and place. I also didn’t know that it’ll ever happen.

I was hiding my smile all along. My heart didn’t stop beating fast and I still can’t believe it is happening. When the time came for me to go. I was praying that “Lord. Please let him go this way too. I wanted to talk to him”.

And yes, Lord. You are really good. We went the same way and we never let the chance go for us to talk. I am feeling a little bit awkward but I loved it when he tried to say different topics or questions for us to talk.

I am looking forward for another unexpected meeting. I knew time will come, our eyes will meet again. But one thing is for sure…

my heart won’t stop beating fast when I’ll see him again.

Hey there. I just wanted you to know that, I missed you so much. I hope to see you more often. And also….

…please don’t say “holdap to” again. ‘Cause you already have my heart. Isn’t that enough? 🙂

Green.

Last time, I saw a guy wearing green shirt. As I look at him, my heart beats faster than expected. I knew. I knew from the very first look, it was him.

I said to them, that even though you’ll be in front of me, I’ll prove to them that I moved on. But fck. The moment I saw your back, I forgot what I have said.

You’re still the same guy I knew. You still love wearing green tees and your black backpack. Your gestures were still the same. The way you walk. The way you smile. The way you stand. They were all still the same.

I’m just so proud of you. You were able to go out with classmates. Even though it was for school purposes, it was a progress in you.

We didn’t talk. We didn’t look at each other’s eyes. They said that you’re looking. But I can’t. So, I’m looking at you secretly. I really don’t know why. I wanted to talk to you. But, I still remember our last chat conversation. It didn’t end well. So I think that it was better not to talk to you that day.

But hey green guy, I missed you. A lot..

Tres.

Three days from now. It will be 2 years ago.

since the happiest day of my life came.

And this time, I promise that, in three days, i will stop.

I’ll try. I will try moving on. Or should I say, I should move on.

And I wanted to say good bye for now. It was the most heartbreaking thing that I will do. But I really need to. My heart says so.

Thank you for all the memories. Thank you. And good bye.

I need you now.

“Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the phone ’cause I can’t fight it anymore.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.”

 

You promised me. That whenever I need someone to talk to, you will be there. You’re there. But where are you right now? I was longing for that promise. I miss you. I need you.

 

“It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now.
Said I wouldn’t call but I’ve lost all control and I need you now.
And I don’t know how I can do without.
I just need you now.”

 

I’m all alone. No one can understand what I feel. No one. So please. Can you? Can you be the one who will understand the way I feel? 

 

“Another shot of whiskey, can’t stop looking at the door.
Wishing you’d come sweeping in the way you did before.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?
For me it happens all the time.”

 

‘And I wonder if I ever cross your mind? For me it happens all the time..’ It happens all the time. It haunts me. And I hate it. Coz I’m missing you more. 

 

“It’s a quarter after one, I’m a little drunk and I need you now.
Said I wouldn’t call but I’ve lost all control and I need you now.
And I don’t know how I can do without.
I just need you now.

Oh, whoa
Guess I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all.”

 

I’m hurt. I hurt too much. Can you fix me like you always do? Please. I want to ease this pain. I need you. Now.

 

“It’s a quarter after one, I’m all alone and I need you now.
And I said I wouldn’t call but I’m a little drunk and I need you now.
And I don’t know how I can do without.
I just need you now
I just need you now.
Oh, baby, I need you now.”

 

I just need you now.