2 days..

Yesterday night was a blast. At first, I was not excited about it. Supposed to be, I will just go with the flow. And one thing is for sure, I wanted to dance with you..

 

 

That time came. You offered your hand. “Nicole…asdfghjkl” you said. Haha. Sorry. I didn’t understand the next line you’ve said because I still can’t believe that you’re asking me to dance. I looked at your friends, smiled and say, “Trip nito ‘to noh?” ‘Cause I knew how weird your friends are. But you said, “Hindi. Ako talaga gustong mag-sayaw sa’yo.” And still your hand was there.

 

I looked back, seeing your friends smile and I think that they were saying that I should say yes because that is the chance for us to talk and settle things. 

 

I held your hand. And they started to gather again. I heard you say, “Na-miss kita.” But I wasn’t able to say that I miss you because they started to take pictures of us. I was so shy that all I can do is to lean over your shoulder and feel this moment. I missed you. I miss you a lot.

 

When they stopped, I started to talk. We started to talk. You said everything you wanted to say, (I think) but I wasn’t able to, because I went blank that night. I was speechless. 

 

While we were talking, I felt your hand tightening at my waist. I was about to let go. But then, I changed my mind. I never wanted to let you go. That’s why I asked you other things. And also. I asked the question, “why”.

 

 

I let you go at the first song, I remember your friend said that we should dance for atleast two songs. But I said no, deep inside, I really wanted to end up dancing with him until the prom ends.

 

I thanked your/our friends. I know that without them, I will never survived in longing for you. I thanked them for helping me. Thanked them for the last time. Because I know that it will be the last time…

 

 

I even cried in saying my thanks. I cried because I really don’t know what to do without them. They even said, “Wag ka ng umiyak, sayang make up” But then it made me cry more. I was really grateful that they were your/my friends. And then you came again, asking, what happened, that’s why I stopped. I tried to stop. And smile again. 

 

One of my and also your friend danced with me. I said thanks again. He was the one who was there when I’m really down without you. And at the end, he passed me to you again. At first, I was about to say no, but then you said that you will say something, that’s why, I danced with you again. But that time, I think it was the heartbreaking moment of all time. You said that you will not put yourself in the relationship again ’cause you think that you’re still an immature one. But I said that I just wanted to be okay with you. No more no less.

 

 

And that was the biggest lie I’ve ever made. 

 

 

We danced again. I was your last dance. And also you were my last dance.

 

 

 

And at the end, I said good bye…

 

 

When we were about to take a picture with all of our classmates, I saw you looking at me. I asked why, you just said, “observing..” I asked why again. But you didn’t answer. You’re just looking at me…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can you just, observe me all the time? I just, wanted you to look at me. I never wanted to let you go..Never. 

10 days…

Why? Why are we like this ‘again’? 

 

We’re not talking again. We’re not looking at each other’s eyes again. What happened? 

 

 

10 days more. Please. Please. Give me a chance to spend the last ten wonderful days with you. 

 

I am willing to give up everything for you and me. 

 

 

Why didn’t you congratulate me? I am waiting for you to do so. I’m still waiting. And waiting…

JS Prom is approaching..and I’m gonna suffer remembering all those wonderful memories we had last year. I’m glad that you will join again. But at the same time, lonely, having the fact that we were not like that before. Last year, I was excited knowing that you’re there. But now? I really don’t know what to feel.

 

 

 

I need you. I badly need you now.